Madcraftin

 Please submit reasons that you choose to stay alive each day Submission form I will update this blog post each time I get a submission. Every little reason is valid  waking up in the middle of the night and having a really cold drink of water finding a new show to binge  seeing the stars on a super clear night singing a song in the car and you lose your breathe because you are so excited and giddy while singing it vacations to places with blue ass water shaving your legs and putting on lotion then getting into bed with clean sheets watching your friend eat something sour taking a really enjoyable poop to be able to smell my favorite smells- like my boyfriend's house or lemons or cucumber melon from bath & body works To see how long they keep Grey's anatomy going for. And if there will be another spin-off. To walk down a street after it’s just rained, with the sky full of pinks, reds, and oranges that reflect off every surface, with the smell of freshwater renewing your sou

I will post updates of my hair growth once I decide to grow it out - I am hoping to keep it short for a while so I do not know how consistent this post will be. I got my hair buzzed on January 14th - 12 inches of my hair was donated to locks of love. Locks of Love 234 Southern Blvd,  West Palm Beach, FL 33405 Day of: January 14th Before, During, After Day After: One Week: Two Weeks: Three weeks: Four Weeks: 12 weeks styled vs. length 19 - 22 weeks:     Shave your head & stay crafty  - mads

Disclaimer: This post is not sponsored by any of these apps - these apps may not work on every device but there are so many out there that probably have the same function these are just my favorites 1. Buycott This app allows you to select causes that are important to you, such as, avoiding companies that support tr*mp, boycott NRA supporting companies, and campaigns against animal testing. All of these campaigns and more are yours for the choosing. After that, you can scan the barcodes of anything at a store and see if that company gets flagged for supporting something you are trying to boycott. Small steps can make a huge difference.  2. Bearable & Round  Bearable is an app that lets you track your activity, sleep, anxiety levels, and all other symptoms. You can customize it to work with anything that bothers you. It is nice because it has a calendar view where you can see all your flare-up days.  Round is a pill tracker app. You can enter any medication you take, the dosage, tim

Disclaimer: I can only speak from my own experiences, everyone experiences medication differently, my experience is not the end all be all solution, it just happened to be so for me.  I do not talk about anxiety in this post because my life has been much more severely impacted by depression not anxiety The number of emotions that coursed through my body on December 26th, 2019 knowing that I was going to start anti-depressants is insurmountable.  I was terrified of the side effects listed on every pill bottle I felt guilty that I had come to this point where I couldn't help myself and I needed medication  I was excited that there was a chance I could be happy  I was jealous of the people who were born chemically balanced But most of all I was scared. The side effects were absolutely terrifying.  tremors  nausea  increased appetite loss of appetite weight gain loss of sexual desire fatigue  drowsiness  insomnia dry mouth  blurred vision constipation  feeling agitated  shaky excessive

Disclaimer: This is all from my own experience, I cannot speak for everyone, I can only give advice and knowledge on what I have experienced. Also, I wanted to title this "holidays while chemically unbalanced" but Christmas and chemically - I had to go with the alliteration   The holidays are a stressful time for everyone. Making sure that you got enough presents for your friends & family, making sure your house looks nice and decorated and making sure that it was better than the year before. Because for some weird reason as humans we always try to one-up ourselves.  For someone with depression, this is the least of your concerns. While you are depressed you spend a lot of time in " survival mode"  this is the mentality that you just have to get through the day. Your main goal is to wake up and then go to bed. That is all that your brain can handle to process because staying alive is the only concern. And that in and of itself is tiring enough.  ( leave a commen

 Literally, wtf.  I think that sexuality & gender is one of the oddest subjects and one of the weirdest things created by society.  DISCLAIMER: these are all my own opinions and ideas. I can only give advice and provide information from my own experience It is such a freaky thing because sexuality is fluid, but everyone expects you to know everything about your future love life by the time you're 13 and if you even think about straying off that path, well then you were just doing it for attention.  MMMMMmmhhhh nah, it's just really confusing. There are so many labels and this is super nice because some people need labels to validate how they feel. But for me, IT'S JUST SO OVERWHELMING! I don't want to have to choose.   Speaking of labels, if someone ever says "why are there so many names, what do they even mean?" 1) sit them down and have a conversation because that right there is A GROWTH OPPORTUNITY. Labels can bring so much comfort to someone who may fe

There are so many ways to find small businesses but it all seems so overwhelming at first.  How to support:  1. Don't ask for a discount ( because you're friends with them )     a. this is quite possibly one of the most disrespectful things you can say to a small business owner. Their work is worth what they are pricing it, whether you agree with it or not.  2. Do your research - ESPECIALLY FOR ETSY!!!      a. Sadly Etsy is prone to stolen art pages. If you find a page you like make sure you look around on their other social media pages just to double-check that everything matches up. I know I have been scammed by Etsy on multiple occasions. I tried to buy some T-shirts, and the account was totally fake and never sent out any orders, and it was all fake reviews. And also don't be afraid to fight for your money, after that order, I opened an appeal with Etsy and that page and got a refund. ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF! 3. Don't be afraid to message someone on Instagram or Faceb

Here I want to include some of my favorite playlists, I have gotten lots of questions about what types of music I listen to, so here ya go: 

Step one: become extremely depressed for an entire calendar year.  Step two: yay BFFS Haha just kidding there are a few more steps in there. From my own experience I have gone from being very friend orientated and a big people person in high school - to - a very introverted queer artist. It all started in January of 2019  (well not all of it, but that would be a much longer post)  when I got turned down from something that I had surrounded my entire life for 6 years. That is where I had all my friends, all my summer memories, and literally, everything about me was from that place. But I guess it wasn’t meant to be.  I hate when people say everything happens for a reason. Because god damn it did not feel like that happened for a reason for months. And I still don’t think there was an overarching reason that it happened, but I think through difficult events in our lives we can create a reason that it happened, for comfort. Basically, I was devastated, I honestly think I may have cried fo